It's Fresh and Tasty

I have some interesting topics to talk about today, but let's talk about dinner first.

I made chicken tacos for dinner tonight!

I used one hot rotisserie chicken (it's fresh and tasty)...

...with some boring ol' hard  taco shells. I really wanted soft corn tortillas, but I couldn't find anything besides flour tortillas in the whole grocery store. They gotta jump on the corn bandwagon. They are so much better (and healthier). 

My tacos were also a little boring since I only added some of my pulled rotisserie chicken, chopped avocado and non fat Greek yogurt. 

On a side note, I really need to peel off my nail polish.

I have a bangin' lunch for tomorrow with the leftovers. It will be much more interesting than these tacos. I combined some leftover chicken breast with taco seasoning. I'll put them on top of some iceberg lettuce to make a salad. I'm also throwing in black beans, chopped avocado and crushed remainders of the leftover taco shells. I also combined non fat Greek yogurt, taco seasoning and salsa to make a dressing. I can't wait until 12:30 tomorrow afternoon! Hopefully, I'll be hungry then. 

Now, I'm sure that I seem like a really happy girl all the time on my blog, but can I tell you something? I cried this morning on my way to work. I went over to O'Connell Street Bakery to pick up a bunch of goodies for our morning tea (think of it like a mid-morning snack that doesn't alway require tea). I paid and went back to my car, and then I realized that I probably should have gotten another tray of mini-quiches. I put the food that I bought in the car and walked back to the bakery. I grabbed another tray of quiches and brought it up to pay. I pulled out my debit card to pay for it, but the lady at the register told me that it was a $20 minimum to pay with a card. I explained that I didn't have any cash and was JUST there buying a whole bunch of things. Surely they could waive the minimum fee in this circumstance. The girl at the register called over the girl who rang me up about three minutes prior, and they consulted with each other. Then they turned to me and told me that there was an ATM right behind me, and I had to get cash out. I took out my money without complaint, paid and got my change. Just as I was about to leave, I realized that I didn't have a receipt so that I could get reimbursed from work. I waved over another guy working there and told him that I needed a receipt. He reached down right in front of me and picked up a receipt sitting there. "Isn't this your receipt?" he asked me. It was. The girls printed it out while I was getting my cash. I thanked him and walked outside. Just as I started walking towards my car for the second time, I had tears welling up my eyes. I had to put on my sunglasses so that nobody could tell. 

It seems like a completely insignificant story. On any given day, I would have been a little annoyed, but I would have walked out and probably forgotten about the whole thing a few seconds later. Today, however, I am under significant stress. I was shocked that it took something that small to make me cry. I've been feeling stress for a few months, but it's not something I often talk about on my blog. I want my blog to be about happy things, so I don't want to dampen the mood with darker emotions. 

The main cause of my stress is the fact that I love people so much in two separate places. Obviously, I love Al so much and can't wait to get married and spend the rest of my life with him. His family took me in and accepted me unquestionably, and I love them for that. On the other hand, I have my own family back home. I have always been extremely close with my mom, and it's so hard that we have to go so many days in a row without talking on the phone. I also have the most amazing girlfriends in the US. The distance, to say the least, sucks. My emotions really took a toll on me when it was time for me to come back to Adelaide a few weeks ago. They made me physically sick, on the verge of throwing up. I just didn't feel like I got to spend enough time with everybody in Chicago. Of course, once I was back with Al (who treats me like a princess when I am sad), I was fine. I'm still homesick, but he always finds a way to distract me from that. 

There are other things that are bothering me, which I unfortunately can't go into much detail about. Yet. In a nutshell, I found the ideal career path for me that I am so excited about. There are so many options for me within the field! There are downsides, though. For one thing, I need to take one year of prerequisites before I can start a masters program. So once I start school, I have about four years before I finish everything. I can kiss my full time job goodbye. Money will be a stressor. 

There is another small, measly issue. Much of the schooling requires that I go home. That's great...to an extent. That means that Al and I will be separated until we get married later next year. The last time that we separated for a while, it was for three months. He needed to move back to Australia, and I needed to finish things up in Chicago before I moved to Adelaide. I remember that we had to stay at a hotel next to the airport, because there was so much snow. Al needed to be up early to catch his flight, and we didn't want to take any risks with the roads. I remember that I was crying on and off for a week before he left. Even for three months, the separation seemed unbearable. When we checked into the hotel the night before, I even started crying in front of the lady checking us in (she felt really bad for me). The next morning, I couldn't even watch him leave. I had to turn around and face my back to him, because I was convinced that I would die if I watched him walk through the door. When I heard the door shut, I curled up in a ball on the bed and had to wait a good 20-30 minutes before I could compose myself to get home. When I finally braved the snowy roads and got to my house, I found a pile of Al's clothes sitting on my bed. He left a note on top that said something like "if you sleep in these, it will make time go faster until I see you again". Needless to say, I started sobbing again. I then went to my friend Irene's house to watch the Oscars the next night, and it was the year that Hugh Jackman presented. Way to pour salt in my wounds by being Australian, Hugh. It took me days until I felt normal again. And this was just for three months! My gosh!

I still cry when I leave Al to go back to the US. It doesn't matter how long I go away. I can't help it. Actually, I cry when I leave Chicago, too. I think I'm just a big cry baby. But seriously, if I was that bad being separated for three months, how could I do it for longer? Would they even let me on the plane? Would I need sedatives? They would probably put me in jail for all I know. 

Then, there are other things that are worrying me. I need to take certain steps so that I can start classes, and there are factors that are even blocking that. I want so badly to start on a career path, but there are so many things standing in my way...while the clock is ticking away. 

I promise I will elaborate more at another time.

So, that is why I am stressed out. And if you read all of this, you are a champion. Thank you for listening. Despite my intense nausea and increased emotional sensitivity, I will get through this. I also would never discourage anybody from having a relationship just because they live in different countries. All relationships have issues. Cross-national relationships just brings on a whole different bag of issues.

No matter what, I know that I am blessed to have two families on either side of the Pacific Ocean. I am blessed to have people in my life who love me unconditionally, including parents who have never once judged me for giving up graduate school and moving to Australia (although I was freakin' miserable in school), a fiance who will support me even if I have to go away for a long time, and girl friends who will welcome me back with open arms every single time I come stateside. I am lucky that I can look at all of the good things in my life. 

Now I just need to figure out how to get rid of this nausea.  

On a leaving note, O'Connell Street Bakery is fantastic. I highly recommend the spinach and onion quiches. Please don't let my overreaction story sway you away from there. I only told the story to make fun of myself for crying because somebody told me I had to go to the ATM. 

I'll also try to get back on track with my running talk! Running/other exercise= GREAT stress reliever!