Skunk Attack!

You know when you're in a car and suddenly smell that wretched skunk odor that everybody hates? You then hope and pray that you don't have to stop at a red light or get stuck in traffic while the scent is still wafting around, because there is the possibility that the smell could stick to your car like glue (it has happened to me before). 

Most of the time, we are able to drive away before we have to inhale to stench for very long. But imagine if a member of your family, such as your dog, gets sprayed directly by a skunk and then runs into your house! He comes through the door and is wet. You wonder why he is wet, and then you smell it. You freeze, and then profanities begin to spill from your mouth. Before you know it, the whole downstairs reeks. You run upstairs to close the door to your bedroom and bathroom, thinking that the smell may not make it to your clothes and bedding. You (or your mother) wash the dog in a mixture of hydrogen peroxide, soap and baking soda. Before you go to sleep, you spray your bedroom with Febreeze until you think you are going to pass out, and you open your windows and blast your fan on high. 

In the morning, you open your closet door and discover that although your room seems to smell okay, your clothes in your closet smell like a skunk. You don't understand how that is possible. You shower, coat yourself (and your hair) in Febreeze. You then spray your clothes. You eat breakfast outside, because the kitchen stinks. You spray yourself several more times before getting in the car. Before you go, you smell your dog. He stinks, but he smells better than the night before. You then walk to your car and open the door. Unbelievably, the car smells like a skunk. You spray it until it smells like apples and cinnamon. You drive with all four windows down and the sunroof open (luckily, it's a beautiful day outside). You spray yourself again in the parking lot of your school. You take the Febreeze with you (just in case). You walk into your classroom, terrified that people will think you smell like crap. You open your backpack and get a small whiff of something very unpleasant. Throughout the day, you learn that your phone, calculator, pencil case and freshly printed lecture notes also smell. 

That, my friends, is a true story that is less than 24 hours old. If there is anything I want you to take away from this story, you should: 1) never let your dog get "skunked" and 2) consider moving to a country like Australia or somewhere else where there are no skunks. Don't even start arguing with me that Australia has dangerous spiders and snakes and jellyfish and sharks. Spiders may poison you, but they don't make you smell the way that I do right now! I guess if I HAD to choose between dying and smelling bad, I'd probably choose to live and be smelly. But still.....

Keish's Birthday

On Saturday night, when my scent was more like flowers than something that came out of an anal scent gland, I went to my friend Jessie's apartment to hang out with her and some of my other friends. We had a great time, but it took me 2.5 hours from the time I left my house till the time I got to Jessie's door. I still don't understand how that happened. It took me a while to get to my friend Nicole's apartment, and then we ordered dinner for everybody and went to Chili's to pick it up. Somehow, that whole process took 2.5 hours. Absolutely baffling. 

When we got to Jessie's, we enjoyed a relaxing girl's night for a couple of hours. We also celebrated her cat Keish's second birthday! Jessie made amazing chocolate Oreo cupcakes. She talks about them on her blog here. 

The Oreo cookie ears were fun to eat, but my favorite part was the frosting. I was tempted to lick it off of all of the remaining cupcakes. She did an amazing job with these!

Happy birthday, Keish!

After the celebration, I headed back home and got caught in traffic. At midnight. What the heck. There were workers on the highway, and they reduced it from three lanes in one direction to one. A warning would have been nice! They only block it off at those hours, but it's still a pain. 

I got home unscathed, and then I lounged around Sunday. I caught up on laundry and reading, and then I met my friend Laura at the Cheesecake Factory by my house. Since the weather was so gorgeous, we sat on the crowded patio. 

We observed that you don't have to be a human to enjoy the patio. 

We started with a bread basket to keep us (and the duck- if we actually fed it) very happy. I told Laura the story of the time I got my duck bite. It never ceases to amuse me. 

For an appetizer, we shared the avocado eggrolls. Oh my gosh. Amazing. You can never go wrong by ordering these. Laura told me that she wanted to drink the sauce. Drink. The. Sauce. 

We both ordered from the Skinnylicous menu. Laura got a roasted pear and blue cheese flat bread. 

I got the same damn thing I got the last time I went to Cheesecake and will probably continue to get for the rest of my visits during my life (unless they change the menu). I got the chicken tacos. 

Obviously, I liked them. I would have devoured all of them if it had not been for the avocado eggrolls. 

I need to go there more often. 

Never Drinking Again

One of my best friends Jessica wrote and performed in this musical number, and it's going viral! She just sent me a link from one of Australia's morning shows where they talked about it and showed a clip. Here is the whole number. I'm so proud!

(Warning: the video makes fun of a night after heavy drinking. You may want to refrain from watching if you think you will be offended).