While I can't make you feel my emotions physically, I can try to paint a picture of my typical day for you. Here is my schedule from Monday through Thursday.
5 am: Wake up, brush teeth, put on gym shoes
5:10: Go to basement to exercise
6:00: Go upstairs and shower
6:45-7:45: Morning commute to biology class
8:00 to 10:40 (and 11:00 twice a week): Biology class
11:00-11:40: Commute home from biology
11:40-1:15 pm: Lunch and study
1:15-1:45: Commute to chemistry
2:00-5:20: Chemistry class
5:20-5:50: Commute home from chemistry
6:00-11pm or later: Study
It seems like I have plenty of time to study at night, but night time is also for blogging. It can take me up to an hour or longer to load pictures and write a blog post. On top of that, the chemistry homework alone takes up to three hours per night. This is not an exaggeration. So far, I have not been able to go to bed earlier than 11 pm. I don't watch TV, I don't talk on the phone, and I don't take more than 10 minutes to eat dinner.
Also, keep in mind that I'm taking two full-semester classes compacted into 8 weeks. There is no time to pause and go over everything to make sure that the class understands. We just keep going...and going.
I was hanging along fine until Monday after chemistry. I went to the cafe of a Barnes and Noble near me, and I worked on my chemistry homework for three hours. Even then, I still hadn't finished my work. I had to leave because my eyes burned from concentrating so hard on the computer, and the problem-solving part of my brain was starting to shut down. It was 9 pm by this time, and I had a huge biology exam on Wednesday morning for which I barely starting studying. Based on my schedule, when was I going to have time to study? I knew that I would have a lot of chem homework on Tuesday night as well. I also knew that I had to sleep, because I still had three busy days ahead of me. I also had a lot of driving to do, and I didn't want to operate a car on a minimum night's rest. I thought I might possibly get out of this okay...and then I had a breakdown.
I started crying when I got home, and I couldn't stop. I was simultaneously typing up my study guide in my room and sobbing. I got up every few minutes to get new tissues and blow my nose. My throat was tight to the point where it was difficult to talk without coughing, and my stomach was in knots. I could not bring myself to eat dinner.
The tears brought me red and puffy eyes the next day, and my legs felt like they weighed a million pounds. I literally had a stress hangover. I put my body into such a state of shock that it turned me into a zombie. I couldn't concentrate in class.I could barely form coherent sentences. I came home on Tuesday night crying all over again. I only had so many hours to study for this exam, and I really believed that I could not learn the information. My parents, who are even cooler than I thought, made me bring my book and notes downstairs so that they could read through the material with me and drill me on it. Sure enough, I got an A the next day!
The stress, however, did not end there. A big storm in the Chicago suburbs wiped out power all over the grid, and we went almost 24 hours without electricity. Not only could I not shower or use the toilets, but I could not use the internet (I cried). I spent Wednesday night at my family friends' home. I stayed up until midnight working on a biology assignment and poring over my chemistry work. Of course, I didn't come close to finishing my chemistry work.
Today, I spent the morning trying not to fall asleep in biology, and I cried in the bathroom after a chemistry quiz where I just could not figure out how to balance the damn equation. Then, my teacher asked me what the hell I was thinking when I planned my summer schedule. I kind of see what she is saying now...
Regardless of the gut-wrenching stress I experienced this week, I survived! While there may have been a few (or many times) that I wanted to jump out of a window, I got through it relatively unscathed. I still haven't worked out since Monday. I needed to sleep in an extra hour. Also, my diet has been terrible. I was so wrapped up in my work that I didn't make eating a priority. I probably lost weight this week, but this was not good weight loss. I would not recommend it for anybody. I would also not wish this stress on anybody. On the bright side, there are five more weeks to go. I also have this weekend to get ahead (and my birthday celebration!).
I hardly took any photos this week. As you can imagine, blogging had to take a backseat. So did my health. Ugh.
On Monday morning, I took a photo of our new coffee maker. I mix the coffee with soy milk and guzzle it down when I get to class. If I drink all of it in the car, I struggle to stay awake in class. I'm not sure why it makes a difference, but it does.
I spent some time with Libby, although I wish that we could have hung out more. I love that dog so much.
Finally, I learned that I really, really love blogging. I took a few days off, and I missed it. There will be days at a time where I just won't be able to do it, but hopefully not for too long!
If you made it this far, thank you for reading. It means everything to me.